Tea

Ugh, just thinking of that time I went to Teavana and wanted to make sure I was only buying tea that was safe for pregnancy/TTC. Feeling pretty stupid about that now :-(

How do you deal?

I just found out that my brother and sister in law are pregnant. My first reaction was pure happiness. I'm so excited for them and our family. That night I decided I was 90% happy and 10% jealous.

Now I'm 80% happy and 20% jealous. I hope that's where it stops.

How do you other bitter infertiles rejoice when someone you love gets what you want??

A tiny, turned-up nose...

My grandma used to sing this to me when I was little and today I just thought of it for no reason. Of course I started crying, knowing I'll never have a little girl to sing this to.

A tiny turned up nose
Two cheeks just like a rose
So sweet from head to toes
That little girl of mine

Two arms that hold me tight
Two eyes that shine so bright
Two lips that kiss goodnight
That little girl of mine

No one will ever know
Just what her coming has meant
Because I love her so
She's something heaven has sent

She's all the world to me
She climbs upon my knee
To me she'll always be
That little girl of mine

I Hate Summer

I don't understand why anyone would like summer. These are a few reasons why I hate it:

It's hot. Way too hot.

Oh, the humidity!

Sweating

Sweat=stink

Extra pimples

Sunburn

To avoid sunburn you must put on goopy, smelly, sticky lotion that makes your skin shiny and more pimply

Frizzy hair

It's so darn hot I don't understand why anyone wants to leave the house

Air conditioning=high electric bills

Your makeup melts right off your face

You have to shave your legs more

It's so much harder to sleep when it's hot

Pit stains are not classy

P.S.- I am grateful that I live in Colorado where the heat and the cold are rarely extreme. There is little humidity and I haven't been bitten by a mosquito in almost four years. But I'll be moving back to the midwest soon and I'll have to go back to hating life from May through September. Ugh.

I feel so stupid

1. I feel so stupid that I bought two Holly Hobbie decorative plates to hang in the room of the daughter I'll never have.


2. I feel so stupid that I signed up for the gift registry at Babies 'R' Us so I could use it as a wishlist when the time came...and the time never came.


3. I feel so stupid that I switched to all natural soaps, lotions, cosmetics, detergents, cleaning supplies because I thought it would improve my fertility.


4. I feel so stupid that I actually bought a cloth shower curtain because the mildew resistant ones are toxic.


5. I feel so stupid that I drank spinach-berry-kefir smoothies everyday for months and months and months so my body would be a nice healthy home for a baby that doesn't exist.


6. I feel so stupid that I have been taking prenatal vitamins and folic acid for over a year.


7. I feel so stupid because that one time my husband offered me a sip of his cocktail, I said no...just in case.


8. I feel so stupid that I convinced my husband to cancel the Caribbean cruise we booked because I would probably be too pregnant to travel.


9. I feel so stupid for spending hours laying in bed with hubby thinking of baby names.


10. I feel so stupid for choosing to rent a two-bedroom townhouse.


11. I feel so stupid for worrying about how to handle the cat around this non-existent baby.


12. I feel so stupid for signing up for thebump.com


13. I feel so stupid for taking numerous pregnancy tests...like I had a chance.


14. I feel so stupid for drinking all of that orange juice.


15. I feel so stupid for not taking Nyquil that time I felt sick...just in case.


16. I feel so stupid for keeping a running list of things/books I want my make-believe baby girl to have.


17. I feel so stupid for getting excited when my boobs are sore...then checking to see if my nips have darkened in color.


18. I feel so stupid for getting excited if I felt nauseous. I'm not cool enough for morning sickness.


19. I feel so stupid for buying all those pregnancy test (had to mention it twice).


20. I feel so stupid that I always thought/knew my babies would be cuter than my cousins' kids.